v1.0 · Live on Google Play · A productivity app, allegedly

Quit your phone.
Gamble for it.

Hitme is a self-help app run by a blackjack dealer. We lock the apps eating your soul. You earn time back by leaving them alone — or risk what you've earned at the table for more. Yes, we know how this sounds.

GET IT ON Google Play COMING TO App Store
— iOS · drop your email, we'll ping you on launch —
Offline-first No account No analytics No real money
9:41 ●●●● 4G 100
Hitme home screen — Stack Available 3 min, Deal Me In, with Instagram, YouTube, and Reddit balances
YouTube is locked — spend 2m now or parlay other apps
Blackjack loss — dealer 21, you 19, −4m, blocked 28:48
ACT IThe wholesome part.

Yes, it's actually a blocker. A mean one.

Pick the slot machines you'd like to escape — Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, X, Reddit, your ex's Strava. They go behind a wall and stay there. There's no "5 more minutes," no streak-shame popup, no cute mascot. Just a closed door. Like an adult.

Pick your poison — onboarding step 2 of 3, with toggles for Instagram, YouTube, Reddit, Discord, LinkedIn, and Netflix
FEATURE 01

Pick your poison.

Tap the apps you want gone. Hitme actually intercepts them — not a polite suggestion you can swat away with one thumb at 2am.

FEATURE 02

Get paid for ignoring them.

Every minute you don't crack, the chip stack grows. Take a walk, do laundry, talk to a human — the ledger fills in your pocket while you do anything else.

FEATURE 03

Cash out. Like a coward.

Tap "Cash out" and the wall drops for exactly what you banked. A timer sits on the screen counting down to zero. Boring. Reliable. Always available. We won't judge. Out loud.

ACT IIThe unhinged part.

Or, sit down at the table. It's funnier.

The dealer is in the corner of the app, watching you. Wager your earned minutes on a hand of blackjack. Win and Instagram opens for longer. Lose and Instagram doesn't open for the rest of the afternoon.

The math is real, the deck is fair, and the regret is included free of charge.

Place your bet — choose source apps and stake size
1Stake it
Blackjack hand — dealer shows 9, you have 10. Hit, stand, double, or split
2Play it
Blackjack win — dealer 19, you 21. Clean W, +1 minute
3Live with it
Outcome · BLACKJACK
Lucky little freak.
+8 min
Bet 5, paid 3:2. Go rot for a bit, you earned it.
Outcome · WIN
Dealer folds.
+5 min
Bet 5, paid 1:1. Enjoy your prize. It's brain rot.
Outcome · PUSH
Mutual restraint.
±0 min
Bet returned. Two adults make eye contact, walk away.
Outcome · BUST
Touch grass.
−45 min
Bet forfeited, lockout extended 9×. We tried to warn you.
No real money. Anywhere. Stop asking. The chips are minutes you earned by not scrolling. No deposit, no withdrawal, no peer-to-peer. The most you can lose at this table is your dignity and one Instagram session.
ACT IIIThe bookkeeping part.

The house keeps receipts. So do you.

Every hand, every cash-out, every clean hour — logged in a SQLite file that never leaves your phone. No login, no cloud, no leaderboards. Just you and the math.

  • Net P/L — today, this week, all-time. Filtered per game.
  • Hand history — every bet, every outcome, with timestamps.
  • 14-day streak grid — clean days, busted days, push days.
  • Per-app splits — which feed gave you the most W's, and which one keeps taking your shirt.
Stats page — net P/L −25m, 4 hands played, 75% win rate, biggest win +4m, worst loss −33m, last 14 days streak grid
FLOWThe whole bit, in four moves.

Block. Resist. Bank. Wager (optional, recommended).

01

Identify the offenders

Ninety seconds of onboarding. Pick the obvious culprits or any app on your phone. Grant two Android permissions and the doors lock from the inside. Yes, even on the apps you're embarrassed about.

02

Do literally anything else

Each minute you don't touch a blocked app, your stack ticks up. Walk, work, talk to your partner, sleep, exist. The ledger compounds while you live. A streak counter judges you supportively.

03

Cash out (boring, allowed)

One tap, the wall drops for exactly what you banked, a timer sits on top of the app. Hits zero, door re-locks. Patient and predictable. Available to people who haven't lost their minds yet.

04

Or play the dealer (the point of this app)

Wager any slice of your balance. Single deck, dealer hits soft 17, blackjack pays 3:2. Win, the door stays open longer. Bust, it stays shut 9× longer. The dealer doesn't need the money. The dealer needs you to stop looking at your phone.

PRICINGFree for civilians. Pro for degenerates.

The whole experiment is free. Pro is for the committed.

Free
Civilian
$0/forever
  • Block up to 3 apps
  • Earn time, cash out 1:1
  • Full access to the blackjack table
  • Streaks & daily stats
  • Standard penalty (9× bet)
Pro · billed monthly or yearly
Pro
$24.99/year
$2.08/mo when billed annually
  • Unlimited blocked apps
  • Hardcore mode (24h penalty cap)
  • More games as we ship them
  • Custom rules & cosmetic themes
  • Advanced stats & hand history
One-time · $49.99
Lifetime
$49.99/once
  • Everything in Pro
  • Pay once, never see us again
  • All future Pro features
  • Roughly one month of solo dev rent
FAQThe questions our lawyer made us answer.

Yes, this is a productivity app. No, we don't get it either.

Wait — is this a gambling app or a productivity app?
It's a productivity app that simulates gambling, the same way a spin class simulates running away from something. The core feature is blocking distracting apps and rewarding restraint. The blackjack mechanic uses your earned minutes as chips — there's no real money, no deposit, no cash-out. We're listed under Productivity on Google Play with a content rating that flags simulated gambling. Apple won't ship a real-money gambling app. Lucky for everyone, we're not one.
Why blackjack? Why not just a habit tracker?
Habit trackers work great until you put them in a folder called "motivation" and never open it again. Blackjack creates real tension — you want the table, you have to earn the chips, and the punishment for losing is the literal opposite of the reward. It mirrors the impulse-control fight you're already losing with your phone, except now the cards talk back and the cards win.
Can I just use the blocker and ignore the table?
Yes. The patient path — earn minutes, cash out 1:1 — is always available. You can use Hitme as a straight blocker forever and never tap "Deal." That's allowed. The dealer will sit there waiting. Forever. Watching you. Smiling slightly.
What if I'm bad at blackjack?
The dealer is also bad at blackjack. Single deck, dealer hits soft 17, blackjack pays 3:2 — published basic-strategy charts apply, your edge is comparable to a real Vegas table. If math isn't your thing, just stick to the patient path. The point of the app is to keep you off Instagram, not relieve you of your time.
Does it actually block, or just "encourage"?
It actually blocks. None of that "are you sure?" sheet you can dismiss with one thumb in your sleep. Hitme intercepts the app at the OS level and shows a wall. When you have zero balance, the app does not open. The only ways through are: earn time, play the table, or uninstall the app like a quitter.
Where's iOS?
Apple's Family Controls API and Android's accessibility service are not the same animal, so iOS is a real port — not a recompile. We refuse to ship it half-broken. Join the waitlist and you'll get exactly one email the day it ships. We promise.
What happens to my data?
It stays on your phone. No account, no login, no server, no analytics, no "anonymous telemetry," no exceptions. Hand history, balances, and stats live in a local SQLite file we will never see. The only thing that ever leaves your device is a subscription receipt, if you choose to subscribe. Read the Privacy Policy if you don't believe us. (You shouldn't. Read it anyway.)

The dealer is patient. You're not.

You will pick up your phone in the next thirty seconds anyway. At least make it interesting.

Get it on Google Play Join iOS waitlist